Recovering From Covid
The year 2021 has been a very difficult year for everyone that I know and that includes me.
I got Covid in November 2021 and it has been a horrible experience, and I had already received 2 dosage of vaccination at that time. I have the worst headache, nothing like I ever experience before. Red eyes, dizziness, sore throat, lost of taste and smell and the worst one, short of breath. At one point during the quarantine, I have trouble sleeping at night because I kept thinking I might not wake up tomorrow.
Almost 4 months after I recovered from Covid and I’m still not the same like before. I guess I probably never will.
My stamina drops to the point of 10 minutes walk gets my heart beating crazy like I just ran a marathon. My legs shaking when I stand up for too long. I still smell and taste soap. I have a problem with my hearing. I have trouble breathing from time to time. The list goes on.
But I don’t wanna sound ungrateful and make this looks like I’m just ranting out. Truthfully, I am thankful and grateful that I survived Covid. There are lot of Covid cases that have claim lives even with 2 dosage of vaccination.
I am still alive and writing this, while I’m still recovering from the long Covid post-effect, I am really grateful.
Coming to Terms with Anxiety
With anxiety, every single day is a constant battle of keeping yourself sane and composed or down the hole of fear, anxious, worry, panic, overthinking and the worst of all, suicidal thoughts.
As I grow older, its a battle that I am starting to lose. Losing grip and control over myself little by little. No man or woman wants to end up in the hole. If anyone ever find themselves in it, I pray that that a knight will come and offer his hand to pull you out.
For me, I have the sweetest angel that is my wife that is keeping me in check. Always there to calm me down when I’m sweating and heart beating like crazy. Always there when I get overly panic and overthinking over something that I have no control over. Always there to show me the different perspective in live that it’s fine to be broken.
Taking a Break From Programming
The last programming related article that I posted was in December 2021. Ever since then, I have been keeping myself away from programming except from my regular job which I have to since I need to live.
Previously, I will always dabble myself in the sea of programming wisdom, often picking up new stacks and trying new technologies with the aim of improving myself.
However, it’s been 3 months that I’ve stopped doing that. Mostly because of the burn out that just never want to go away.
It gets so bad that I actually feel nauseated whenever I read anything related to programming. I even stopped using Twitter and Medium for quite some time.
As a final effort to fresh up my mind and body, I have decided to pick up a new hobby of drawing pixel arts.
Drawing Pixel Arts as a New Hobby
When I was a kid, I have always thought that drawing is not something that you can learn. I thought that drawing is something that you are born with. Somehow you just know how to draw.
I was never good at drawing, and to be frank, I have no idea why I choose to learn drawing at this age.
But I told myself, if I can picked up programming by myself, why would I not be able to learn how to draw?
It’s mind over body kind of thing.
I guess moving forward, I will also be posting articles on pixel art. Just look at the red slime jumping.
Starting my Youtube Channel…
The idea of starting my own YouTube channel was something that have been in my to-do list for years.
It has been a loyal member of my to-do list line-up, warming up the bench with the other benchwarmer, patiently waiting for its time to get off and bask in the limelight.
Truthfully, it was supposed to be a higher priority action but somehow I started writing on Medium first. Probably because I was just scared and afraid of failing.
I guess comfort is not always a good thing to have.
Now, I’ve finally started my channel a few weeks back. Its still fresh and honestly kind of embarrassing to even mention it here but I’m just gonna go ahead and do so.
Honestly, I have no idea what my niche will be right now. All I can think of is that I’ll be posting lots of videos of me drawing pixel arts. Maybe a programming video once in a a while. I have no idea where this might take me but I am gonna stop thinking and start doing.
All in all, I have no idea how this writing would be of any help to anyone.
I guess this is more or less an emotional pour writing that I just want to let out.
Thank for reading. Cheers mate!
